Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Melissa Muller offers psychological services throughout the state of California. She offers both in-person and virtual sessions. Her academic qualifications include undergraduate and post graduate degrees in counseling psychology and clinical psychology respectively through Pepperdine University in Malibu and Ryokan College in Los Angeles; as well as advanced clinical training in community and private treatment settings through sites accredited by the California Psychological Association which include Airport Marina Counseling Service and Engage Psychological Services.
Dr. Muller proficiently treats conditions negatively impacting an individual's life which chronically undermine their feeling of wholeness and wellness. She utilizes theories, research, and treatment methods informed by her ongoing study and application of contemporary psychoanalytic thinking which includes relevant developments in the areas of attachment, infant research, complex dynamic systems, trauma, neuroscience, mindfulness and philosophy. Dr. Muller is clinically disciplined in diagnosis and case conceptualization lending ingenuity to the design of psychotherapeutic goals for the individual throughout shifts of the psyche emerging throughout treatment. Abundant care and attention is applied each session towards understanding the individual "at their heart" to guide a therapeutic process befitting of an individual's healing style and course.
In addition to work with individuals, Dr. Muller is passionate and extensively trained in Family Systems work. She believes family work is an invaluable aspect of healing and recovery. Insight into each member's defense constellation can be efficiently gained as problem behaviors of the family emerge in session. What could not be seen or understood about an individual's pain, covered by their defenses, is often revealed. Family members are assisted in developing insight into the ways in which their negative responses to one another could simply be a matter of misunderstanding and miscommunication. Within the safety of the therapeutic setting, family members often discover the courage to begin sharing with and listening to one another about the true nature of their emotions, perceptions and behaviors. As understanding takes place, empathy and a desire to care for one another becomes a new family dynamic. As the family heals, the chance for personal healing and growth becomes available for ALL family members. Melissa heartily feels family work can be a powerful conduit for lasting change.
I have learned through both personal and professional experience that the effectiveness of psychotherapy relies on a very personal process most meaningful and relevant to the individual, couple, or family. Therapy goals are extremely nuanced and personal and become compellingly clear during the work. Engaging in a personally meaningful therapy process can ignite desire to create and direct one's own special course towards wellness for themselves.
I offer my personal tale of my own psychotherapy...
I was introduced to the idea of therapy around the age of 23. It was about a year or two after my older sister died. Therapy was urged by those who held insight about the importance of processing grief with another person or others.
The day came when I found myself making a call to set up an appointment. The next thing I knew I was on a long couch sitting across from a stranger who was strangely giving me the impression she genuinely wanted to understand me. She was present. Being in the presence of someone who was present stirred awake a part of me that felt comfortable to make that hour in that room with that person everything I needed it to be for my healing. Her presence provided a safe container for me to say aloud everything tumbling around in my mind without the strain of trying to organize or censor any of it so as not to appear a "mess." I felt free to unveil the "crazy" that I was ashamed to reveal to others. As my words hit the air they made a lot more sense than I had feared they would sound. This would become the most valuable aspect of psychotherapy for me. A sense of calm from sessions would replace my worry for extended periods of time. I began to seek more experiences of authentic connection with others wherein I would dare to share and make sense of my innermost thoughts and feelings. This turn from isolation toward engagement
would change my life course.
"Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together. Certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away." -George Elliot
I deeply respect the training and skill of the therapist who upholds the importance of a safe container for the patient to discover and apply their preferred process most serving of their psychotherapy.
When an individual explores aspects of themselves and their inner world, and in turn develop answers, then they are exhibiting wisdom. Wisdom is far more intuitive and potent than knowledge alone. The answers lie within. The poignant questions (the medicine) for personal discovery emerge through the development of a wisdom approach providing the keys to unlock doors guarding the heart.
Through wisdom a person can see, feel and dream clearly a path before them. It does not require work of finding a new path, rather it is courageously opening one’s eyes to notice the path beneath their feet: The path has been with them all along. There is no other path so ready to be with them as they take each step forward. The enjoyable work in therapy can be about connecting with one’s own wisdom.
Through a wisdom approach, wholeness, openness and eagerness can be felt producing an expansive sense of possibility, balancing the depressed or anxious mind, and soothing and restoring the physical body. The body and mind mirror renewed and youthful strength to one another as they begin to operate in natural harmony. Inner battling, self-hatred, shame, and doubt are embraced and released by wisdom.
“What a long time it can take to become the person one has always been. How often in the process we mask ourselves in faces that are not our own. How much dissolving and shaking of ego we must endure before we discover our deep identity — the true self within every human being that is the seed of living an authenWhat about rather than telling your life what you intend to do with it, you listen for what it intends to do with you.Instead of telling your life what truths and values you have decided to live up to, how about letting your life tell you what truths you naturally embody, what values you naturally and wholly represent.
The true self seeks not pathology but wholeness. Before I can tell my life what I want to do with it, I must listen to my life telling the who I am. I must listen for the truths and values at the heart of my own identity, not the standards by which I must live — but the standards by which I cannot help but live if I am living my own life.”
~Parker J. Palmer, "Let Your Life Speak: Listening For The Voice of Vocation.
" The measure of our creative vitality lies in how intimately we contact both the doom and the glory of being, what we make of the restless tension between our own poles, how we harmonize them into something beautiful." -Maria Popva
One day Depression, the next Anxiety, and some days it all lifts and I am FREE and clear and hopeful again...though I worry the worry will visit once or twice more, so I brace. It's so hard to embrace.
Is it possible to take the wheel? Is it possible to steer your way into a different life? A place where fear can be quieted when not needed and where being alive feels worth being alive. Where pain can be met with grace and compassion... and, sometimes with a fight, but a worthy fight: a fight for good; A fight for each other; A fight for our Earth; a fight for our ancestors, who faced the same trials, who sought, who lost, who battled, who persevered, who triumphed, who did their worst and also did their best; Who dreamed of a better life, a better world for their descendants....for us. The same yearnings live in us for our children...and for the child within us all. This universal quest carries universal challenges. Within this "given" resides our hope: Hope because our interests in good is powerfully mutual. Does this mean together we CAN? Is together there HOPE? Is together there care for one another and, importantly, care for ourselves? The care that heals? Depression, anxiety, the worry lessens. And when worry begins to stir, we remind each other that we are near to each other. We are with each other. We are all of us HOME.
An essay by Maria Popova (The Marginalian):
"Coursing through every civilization are the myths that shape what its people come to believe about reality and possibility. Some of them are healing and some damaging. Some are easy to recognize for what they are — almost all isms are damaging myths. But some are more subtle, more pernicious, permeating the substratum of culture and the marrow of the psyche.
One of Western culture’s most damaging myths, largely inherited from the Romantics, is that of the tortured genius — the suffering artist who needs to have suffered and must go on suffering in order to create works of beauty and poignancy, portals to the sacred. The truth, of course, is far more nuanced — artists are simply people who feel life deeply in all of its dimensions, who are awake and alive to both its tragedy and its transcendence, who put their heightened sensitivity in the service of wakefulness and aliveness for others.
Virginia Woolf knew this when she wrote of the shock-receiving capacitynecessary for being an artist. In his diary, Walt Whitman contemplated the superior porousness of the creative spirit to both life's 'sunny expanses and sky-reaching heights' and its 'bare spots and darknesses,' believing that 'no artist or work of the very first class may be or can be without them.'
These, of course, are the polarities we all live with, the polarities that live in us, which Maya Angelou channeled in her stunning poem “A Brave and Startling Truth.” The artist is humanity’s magnifying lens for the inherent dualities of human nature — something James Baldwin captured in his insistence that an artist’s role is 'to make you realize the doom and glory of knowing who you are and what you are.' The measure of our creative vitality lies in how intimately we contact both the doom and the glory of being, what we make of the restless tension. between our own poles, how we harmonize them into something beautiful.
In the interlude between two world wars, as humanity hungered for beauty to controvert its own brutality, Hermann Hesse (July 2, 1877–August 9, 1962) considered the inner life of the creative spirit in a poignant passage from his 1927 novel Steppenwolf (public library), painting the artist as a divided creature that yearns for wholeness and turns that yearning into the creative act:
'Many artists… have two souls, two beings within them. The capacity for happiness and the capacity for suffering; and in just such a state of enmity and entanglement towards and within each other as were the wolf and man.'
For Hesse’s artist, riven by these inner tensions, 'life has no repose.' And yet out of that restlessness comes the artist’s gift to the world:
'[Artists] live at times in their rare moments of happiness with such strength and indescribable beauty, the spray of their moment’s happiness is flung so high and dazzlingly over the wide sea of suffering, that the light of it, spreading its radiance, touches others too with its enchantment. Thus, like a precious, fleeting foam over the sea of suffering arise all those works of art, in which a single individual lifts himself for an hour so high above his personal destiny that his happiness shines like a star and appears to all who see it as something eternal and as a happiness of their own.'"
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